One Dish at a Time: Finding the Sacred in the Everyday

Washing the dishes – a chore most of us would rather avoid. But Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist, saw this routine task as an opportunity for mindfulness practice.

In his philosophy, all our thoughts and actions, even the most mundane, can be imbued with sacredness. When we approach them with awareness, we become fully present in the moment.

"Each thought, each action in the sunlight of awareness becomes sacred," says Hanh. "In this light, no boundary exists between the sacred and the profane."

Washing the dishes mindfully isn't just about getting them clean. It's about savoring the act itself, the feel of warm water on your skin, the sound of clinking plates. It's about being present in the here and now, rather than dwelling on the past or fretting about the future.

This practice, according to Hanh, is a form of liberation. It frees us from the autopilot mode we often find ourselves in, allowing us to appreciate the simple beauty of everyday life.

So, the next time you find yourself washing the dishes, or doing any other chore, take a deep breath and try to be fully present. You might be surprised at the peace and joy you can find in the most ordinary activities. 🙂

We Need U2: Why We Thrive When We Connect

Ever feel like you're Sisyphus from Greek mythology, perpetually pushing a boulder uphill?

Like reaching your goals is a one-person tug-of-war against the universe?

U2's soulful song, written by Bono about his father, "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own" reminds us that even the most self-sufficient among us need a helping hand.

The song's lyrics resonate with this sentiment: "Tough, you think you've got the stuff/You're telling me and anyone/You're hard enough/You don't have to put up a fight/You don't have to always be right." But then comes the crucial message: "Let me take some of the punches for you tonight."

Bono enters into the chorus pleading: "Listen to me now. I need to let you know. You don't have to go it alone."

Reaching the "other side" of our challenges is infinitely easier with a support system.

Maybe it's a mentor who offers guidance, a friend who lends a listening ear, or a community that rallies around a shared cause.

Think of the ways we complement each other.

The artist with a grand vision needs the craftsperson to bring it to life. The entrepreneur with a game-changing idea needs the marketer to get it seen. We're a network of strengths, and collaboration is the magic that fuels our individual and collective growth.

So, the next time you're feeling like a lone wolf, remember U2's message. We all need a little help, and the beauty lies in offering and receiving it in equal measure.

After all, sometimes you can't make it on your own, but together, we can reach unimaginable heights. 🙂

Letting Fridays Be Fridays: The Art of Embracing the Weekend

Let's face it, we've all experienced that heart-pounding, giddy feeling as the clock strikes the magical hour on Friday.

That sense of liberation, a whole weekend spread out before us like a blank canvas waiting for a splash of adventure, relaxation, or maybe just a seriously long nap.

But why is Friday so darn special?

Well, besides from being the gateway to our hard-earned downtime, there's something deeper at play.

Rest, my friend, is not a luxury – it’s a necessity for our human well-being.

It's even a spiritual principle, with that whole "Six days you shall labor and on the seventh day you shall rest" wisdom we get from Judaism and Christianity.

Now, you might be thinking, "Hold on a second, if I'm always daydreaming about Friday, maybe it means I hate my job?"

And yeah, there's a sliver of truth in that. If you're practically doing a countdown dance from Monday morning to Friday afternoon, it's worth considering whether your work truly aligns with your passions and skills (see this blog post from me on that issue).

But what I'm talking about here is different. It's about respecting the rhythm of work and rest.

If you've diligently done your thing all week, then heck yeah, you deserve to let loose (responsibly, of course) come Friday. There's no shame in craving a break.

Think of it like this: Even the legendary Baptist preacher from the 1800’s Charles Spurgeon, who could out-sermon a whole congregation in a single day, knew the importance of taking a breather.

He famously said, “Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength. It is wisdom to take occasional furlough. In the long run, we shall do more by sometimes doing less.”

So, how do we truly maximize that precious Friday feeling? Here are a few ideas:

  • Leave work at work (as best you can): Easier said than done, I know, but try to establish boundaries. Close the laptop, silence those work notifications, and mentally step away from your to-do list. I do tend to work quite a lot (I love what I do) and it’s hard to shut down. But shutting down is necessary for my well-being. And it’s necessary for yours also.

  • Indulge in some guilt-free pleasures: Binge that cheesy nacho dip, order a pizza the size of your appetite, soak in a bubble bath...whatever makes you feel good without breaking the bank or your health.

  • Unplug a little: Ditch your screens, and spend some real quality time with friends, family, or even just yourself.

  • Plan something, even if it's small: A movie night, a hike, catching up with a friend over coffee, watching the sunrise or set, going out to listen to some live music (one of my favorite pleasures). Plan it so that you can anticipate it. Anticipation is half the fun!

Embrace the fact that Fridays are meant to be a little different. They're a chance to unwind, recharge, and remember why we work so hard in the first place.

So go ahead, let Friday be Friday. You've earned it. 🙂

*This blog post idea comes from my friend and business colleague Bishop Francisco (actual name, not a religious title). She’s the awesome marketing guru at Localish Marketing (check out her stuff at Localish Facebook and Localish Website).

KISS Your Way Back: A Super Simple Approach to Getting Your Life Together

Feeling overwhelmed by the ever-growing list of things to do and the nagging sense that you've strayed from your goals? If it’s any comfort, you're not alone. 

Life has a way of kicking us off the path of enlightened living every once in a while. And sometimes we find ourselves a little off track.

But what if getting back on track didn't have to involve drastic changes or complicated plans? 

Enter KISS (not that face-painted heavy metal band), but rather KISS, the life principle. 

Keep It Super Simple

This life approach focuses on small, manageable steps that make a big difference. It's about acknowledging that progress, not perfection, is the key. 

Here's how to KISS your way back to feeling centered and in control:

  • Start small: Don't try to overhaul your entire life overnight. Pick one thing, like making your bed each morning or taking a 15-minute walk or sitting for 5 minutes of mid-afternoon meditation, and focus on making it a consistent habit.

  • Declutter your environment: A physical space free from clutter and stuff overload can create a mental space free from overwhelm. Start by tackling a single drawer or shelf, and gradually work your way through your surroundings. A little spring cleaning of your home or office cleans up your mind, too. 

  • Schedule simplicity: Block out dedicated time in your day for focused work, relaxation, and self-care. Sticking to a routine, even a loose one, can bring a sense of order and predictability. Maintaining a fairly consistent morning and evening routine have been proven to help manage stress. 

  • Embrace the power of "No Thank You": Don't be afraid to politely decline requests that don't align with your priorities or would drain your energy. Remember, saying “No Thank You” to one thing creates space for saying “You Betcha!” to what truly matters.

  • Celebrate progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your wins, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement will keep you motivated and moving forward like a face-painted heavy metal rock star!

Remember, the KISS principle isn't about achieving some level of flawlessness. 

It's about embracing simplicity as a tool for creating a life that feels manageable, fulfilling, and true to you. 

So take a deep breath, start small, and KISS your way back to a life you love. 🙂

Washed Clean: A Spring Rain Symphony

Today is awash in the melody of a spring rain.

Each drop tapping a rhythm on rooftops and window panes, washing away the lingering whispers of winter and the unwelcome blanket of pollen.

This gentle symphony is a balm to the soul, cleansing not just the city streets, but also the quiet corners of our hearts.

It's a reminder that renewal and growth are always on the horizon, and that sometimes, a little rain is all it takes to wash away the blues and usher in a brighter day.

So, my friend, let the rain sing its sweet song.

Let it wash away the old and make way for the new, for the vibrant hues and hopeful whispers of spring. 🙂

The Essence of Being

Within the cradle of your beating heart,

A whispered question seeks its counterpart.

"What is your essence?" the query does ring,

What lies beneath the surface, a hidden thing?

Is it woven of threads from a love so deep,

Or joy, like sunlight, where laughter does leap?

Interconnected in life's woven strands,

With compassion's touch, where kindness expands?

Perhaps a perfection, a spirit so bright,

Or a spark of the cosmos, a sliver of light?

Could divinity dwell in your mortal disguise,

And within every gaze, your uniqueness it lies?

Seek out your answer, on pathways it gleams,

The essence of being, a tapestry of your dreams.

🙂

Lost in the Woods? How to Find Your Way When Your Life Path Goes Missing

Sometimes life feels less like a clear path and more like...well, being lost in a metaphorical forest with no map.

We get bogged down by worries, overwhelmed by choices, or so sidetracked that we forget why we set off on this journey in the first place. Sound familiar?

Trust me, I am no stranger to existential or real forests.

In fact, I once got very, very lost in a forest while mountain biking with some college friends in the dense redwoods near my Northern California coastal university.

Since I was very out of shape back then my friends had peddled on without me. I had no compass, no map, and not even a granola bar for sustenance. (And if you’re thinking, “What a dope for leaving his phone behind!” It was 1990. Phones were still stuck to walls back then.)

All I could do was rely on some seriously stripped-down basics: the sun's position and my vague sense that the ocean was in a westerly direction.

Life, much like the forests of Northern California, sometimes puts us on confusing and overgrown trails.

Here's the thing: even when it feels like you have nothing to go on, you actually do.

Let's explore how to find your bearings in times of uncertainty:

1. Vince Lombardi Yourself: You gotta start with what you know. "Gentlemen, This is a football," as Coach Lombardi famously said to his Green Bay Packers while holding up the ball that was causing so much agony for the team. Return to your core truths. Who are you really? What drives you? It might feel silly to define the basics, but when you're lost, a return to the fundamentals can be a lifesaver.

2. Find Your West: Don't have a grand plan? Don't sweat it. Pick a general direction based on the little information you do have. West led me toward the ocean (and thankfully out of the forest). For you, that might mean choosing action over inaction, focusing on one tiny goal, or just deciding to make a small decision.

3. The Magic of Movement: Once you start moving along the trail, you start getting feedback. That fallen tree is familiar...that bird call isn't. You can course-correct as you go. The key is to escape that initial paralysis by taking action.

I eventually emerged from those woods. And you will get out of your forest, too.

Uncertainty isn't forever, and even when it feels overwhelming, you have the tools within you to navigate it.

Trust yourself and take the next step. 🙂

Time Warp: Where Did February Go?

Is it just me, or does anyone else blink and realize that another month has zipped by? It's March 3rd already!

Time seems to have this slippery way of escaping, often before we can fully grasp it. This sensation is called "forgetful delusion." It's that autopilot state where we move through life semi-consciously.

Imagine driving somewhere familiar and arriving without any real memory of the journey. We might even devour a whole meal and later have no recollection at all of who ate it!

This trance-like state blinds us to the simple wonders around us. We miss the dance of storm clouds, the crispness of a spring day, even the warmth in the eyes of someone we love. Chunks of our life vanish unlived.

Modern life, with its relentless pace and demand for multitasking, fuels chronic inattention. We become bored and restless, easy prey to numbing distractions and addictions.

What's considered "normal" in mainstream Western culture might, in fact, indicate a deep level of delusion. We can be outwardly successful, yet inwardly bereft.

There’s a sign at the entrance to a monastery in Thailand that hits the nail on the proverbial head: "Hey there. You've been asleep for a long time. Isn't it time to awaken?"

Mindfulness is our wake-up call. It snaps us out of the fantasy-filled autopilot and into clear and present awareness.

The mind's habit of chasing the pleasant, rejecting the unpleasant, and spacing out with the ordinary all melt away. What once seemed neutral or boring shimmers with newfound life when we pay attention.

So next time you find yourself wondering where those weeks and months have gone, take a deep breath. And remind yourself that the present moment is the only place where life truly happens.

Pay close attention to the small, seemingly insignificant things — they hold the key to shaking off the forgetful delusion and living life with wonder and presence. 🙂

Unveiling the Peace Beneath Our Desires

Ever feel like you're being chased by a pack of hungry desires?

That delicious pastry, that perfect pair of shoes, that constant itch to check your phone — desires can feel endless and all-consuming.

We often feel like these desires are a big part of us. But in reality they're just visitors in the mind, popping up and demanding attention. The key is to develop mindfulness — the art of observing these visitors without getting swept away by them.

Imagine yourself sitting with a cup of tea. A craving for something sweet arises. Perhaps for a warm cookie?Notice the physical sensations. Maybe a tightening in your stomach? A watering mouth? Observe the feelings. Excitement? Maybe a touch of guilt? Don't judge! Just acknowledge it all with a gentle curiosity.

Now, here's the interesting part. Often, when desires aren't immediately acted upon, they intensify. They might scream and shout, trying to pull you towards that cookie. But resist the urge to react. Just stay present, like a calm observer of this mental storm.

And guess what? The storm eventually passes. The craving weakens, replaced by a sense of ease and peace. This is the magic of mindful observation. We learn desires are impermanent, like passing clouds.

Of course, cravings will return. But with each mindful encounter, we chip away at their power. We discover a deeper sense of self, one that's not dictated by fleeting desires, but rooted in a wellspring of inner peace.

So next time a craving shows up, don't fight it. Just observe it, smile, and let it pass. You might be surprised at the peace that awaits you. 🙂

The Elimination Game: Starting With What Doesn't Work

We all get those moments — staring at a problem, a project, a looming life choice — and feeling absolutely stumped.

Our brains spin with a whirlwind of options, but nothing seems quite right.

That's the perfect time to try a little mental housekeeping!

Before getting caught up in finding the perfect solution, let's streamline things.

We often waste time and mental energy revisiting possibilities we know (or ought to know) aren't the answer.

Here’s what tends to happen:

You're sitting down to figure out how to boost your monthly savings. Suddenly, you remember that disastrous day-trading strategy you tried a few months ago. Yeah…didn't pan out.

Or you're brainstorming ideas for a fun, low-cost weekend activity, and the urge to sign up for one of those “free resort vacations” where all you have to do is sit through a timeshare presentation for 8 hours hits you again. You completely regretted the last time you did this. “But maybe this time will be better?” you tell yourself.

Let’s try a different strategy. Try "The Elimination Game."

Here's how to play:

List Everything: Don't filter yourself. Every potential solution to your problem or issue goes on paper. Write down everything you can think of to help you reach your goal. Even the day-trading and timeshare possibilities get written down.

The "Nope" Pass: Time to get ruthless. Cross out everything that's proven to be a dead end in the past. If it is actually going to drain your resources (time, money, energy), ditch it from the list. And now the day-trading and timeshare ideas get nixed.

Out of Bounds: Illegal? Unethical? Silly? Those get deleted right away. Don't even give them the satisfaction of consideration. (Sorry fans of “Breaking Bad,” but becoming a ruthless kingpin in the local methamphetamine drug trade in order to provide for your family financially due to your cancer diagnoses is only suitable for a TV crime drama. This is not a great idea for you!)

Why does this game work?

We trick ourselves into thinking we're making progress when we keep recycling old, ineffective ideas.

By eliminating those first, we make space in our minds for the possibilities that do have potential.

It's not about being negative. It's about being strategic!

Sometimes removing the clutter is the first step towards finding that golden nugget of a solution.

So, what's one thing you can eliminate from your decision-making menu today?

Give “The Elimination Game” a try.

And have fun playing! 🙂

Leap Day: A Bonus Gift of 1440 Extra Minutes

Hey there, my friend! Happy Leap Day!

Isn't it wild that we get an entire extra 24 hours (1440 minutes) tucked into this year?

It feels like such a fun little surprise!

Think of all those times you wished for just a bit more time.

A few more hours to sleep in, catch up on a project, or maybe just relax without a nagging to-do list.

Well, today is your chance!

This Leap Day is an unexpected gift of time.

Maybe you'll do something out of the ordinary: have a midday dance party, bake a cake for no reason, get married, finally read that book that's been collecting dust, or try a new hobby.

I remember getting a “bonus day” about 30 years ago, when some sort of transportation issue caused me to be unexpectedly hanging out by myself for a whole day in someone’s’ apartment in Mexico City without much to do. In the apartment there was a book titled something like, “An Idiot’s Guide to Juggling” that came with 3 juggling balls…So I spent the “bonus day” learning to juggle.

Or, maybe you'll keep it super simple: an extra-long cup of coffee in the morning, or a chance to sit and watch the sunset without feeling rushed.

The beauty of Leap Day is that it's an extra day without expectations.

It's a little pocket of time to reclaim as your own.

So, embrace this bonus day!

Be a little spontaneous, be a little silly, be a little joyful.

After all, how often do we get an extra day to play with?

Have fun! 🙂

Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional: Breaking Free from an Extended Stay at the Red Roof Inn

The phrase: “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” holds much truth.

The idea sits at the heart of many spiritual and philosophical traditions, hinting that within the sting of life's challenges lies a strange kind of power.

Let's unpack this idea.

Pain: The Unavoidable Part

We're not built for perpetual comfort. Disappointment, loss, heartbreak, and physical pain are just part of the fabric of human existence.

The truth is: You’re gonna stub your toe, get a paper cut, and get hit by the occasional car while out for a morning jog. (All of which have happened to me more times than I’d prefer).

It's a tough pill to swallow, but fighting this reality only amplifies our troubles.

While pain is natural, suffering is like an extended painful stay at the “Red Roof Inn.” (Or perhaps I’m the only one who doesn’t care for this cheap motel?)

It's the mental replaying of situations, the "what if's", the obsessive analysis, and the relentless self-criticism.

We add layers of emotional and mental anguish onto the initial hurt, turning a fleeting wound into a constant state of being.

Why do we do this? So often, we suffer unwillingly.

There's a peculiar comfort in the familiar, even when that familiarity is rooted in pain.

Here's why we get stuck:

  • The Misunderstanding of Healing: We think that wallowing actually lets us process pain. In reality, obsessive rumination prevents healing.

  • Identity Crisis: Sometimes our narratives become tied to our pain. We build an identity as a victim or someone perpetually wronged, making it difficult to let go.

  • Fear of the Unknown: Suffering, as awful as it is, feels predictable. Letting go means stepping into the unknown, which can be terrifying.

So, can we choose not to suffer? It's not about flipping a switch and becoming emotionally invulnerable.

Here's a more realistic approach:

  • Acknowledge and Accept: Resisting pain only makes it stronger. When the hurt arises, name it clearly: "This is disappointment," "This is fear," "This is grief." Acceptance isn't resignation; it's merely letting reality be what it is.

  • Observe Your Mind: Notice how your mind spins a story around the pain. Are you blaming yourself, catastrophizing, dwelling on past injustices? Simply watch these thoughts without judgment.

  • Shift Your Focus: Where attention goes, energy flows. Counter the negativity with intentional appreciation: a sliver of beauty, a moment of kindness, or the feeling of breath in your body. This doesn't erase the suffering, but it loosens its grip.

  • Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you would to a friend who is suffering. Notice the harsh self-talk and consciously replace it with understanding.

The Takeaway:

As Nazi internment camp survivor, Viktor Frankl famously wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

This isn't a magic solution to eliminate all of your pain and suffering; that would be unrealistic.

But it is about consciously choosing your relationship with pain.

It's about denying suffering its power to consume you and breaking free little by little. 🙂

Wisdom and Mindfulness: Discerning Life's “Mangoes”

"When you have wisdom, connecting it with experience is like standing at the bottom of a ripe mango tree. We get to choose between the good and rotten mangoes. It is all to your benefit, because you know which fruits will make you sick and which are healthy.” (Adapted from a lesson in Jack Kornfield’s book, “The Wise Heart” as taught by his mentor Ajahn Chah.)

This fruitful analogy highlights the power of wisdom. Much like a mango tree laden with fruit, life confronts us with a myriad of experiences – some nourishing, and others potentially harmful.

Wisdom gives us the ability to discern the difference, empowering us to make conscious choices that promote our well-being.

Mindfulness is the key to cultivating this inner wisdom. By grounding ourselves in the present moment, we develop an awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and sensations.

This heightened awareness allows us to observe experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant, without being swept away by them.

As we consciously practice mindfulness, we see the "healthy and unhealthy fruit" of our experiences with greater clarity. We start to recognize patterns and triggers.

Most importantly, we learn that we don't have to automatically react. Mindfulness empowers us to pause, breathe, and respond from a place of wisdom rather than from a place of reaction.

Our mindfulness is like a sovereign and compassionate ruler overseeing a well-functioning kingdom.

It witnesses the ever-changing territory of our inner landscape, facilitating conditions that allow for integrity, love, generosity, and simplicity to flourish naturally.

If you're looking to deepen your own mindfulness practice, consider these approaches:

  • Meditation: Find a quiet place and start with even a few minutes of guided or unguided meditation, focusing on your breath.

  • Mindful Moments: Bring mindfulness into everyday tasks, noticing intently the sensations, sights, and sounds as you perform them.

  • Mindful Walking: As you walk, pay attention to your body movements and the environment around you.

Remember, mindfulness is a journey, not a destination.

With patience and practice, you'll discover the transformative power it holds, enabling you to navigate life's “mangoes” with wisdom and grace. 🙂

Compassion: Your Key to Unlocking More Joy

Imagine walking along a sidewalk with your arms full of groceries, and someone roughly bumps into you so that you fall and your groceries are strewn all over the ground.

As you rise up from the puddle of broken eggs and squashed tomatoes, you are ready to shout out, “You idiot! What’s wrong with you? Are you blind?”

But just before you can catch your breath to speak, you see that the person who bumped into you is, in fact, actually blind.

He, too, is sprawled out in the spilled groceries and is having trouble getting up.

Your anger vanishes in an instant, to be replaced by sympathetic concern: “Are you hurt? Can I help you up?”

Our situation in the world is much like this story.

When we realize that the source of our anger, misery, and disharmony with others is ignorance, we can open the door of wisdom and compassion.

Buddhism teaches us a powerful truth: Compassion is our deepest nature. It arises from our interconnection to all things.

We're hardwired for kindness.

Now, I'm not talking about feeling sorry for someone or getting a bit weepy during sappy movies. This is about recognizing that we're all part of this giant, interconnected web of life.

Here's the deal: We're often trapped in our own little world – "Me, me, me!" It's like tunnel vision.

But compassion breaks in and through, allowing us to see the bigger picture, the pain and struggle others are facing. It's like having X-ray vision into the hearts of those around us. This leads to some pretty neat stuff.

Here's a quote from Tibetan yogi Longchenpa: "O Nobly Born, there is born in you exceeding compassion for all those living creatures who have forgotten their true nature.”

Longchenpa is basically saying – hey, when you unlock your inner compassion, you also start seeing others not just as themselves, but as beings with huge potential, temporarily lost and confused.

So... how do we upgrade our compassion skills? Start with a little empathy.

When someone's rude to you, don't just get mad. Ask yourself: "What rough day might have led to that outburst?"

When you see someone acting selfishly, wonder, "What's hurting them so much that they need to act this way?"

This isn’t always easy to do. Compassion is like a muscle. The more you work it, the stronger it gets.

Start small, even with the annoying person at the grocery store. And then work up to (perhaps) the annoying person who lives with you.

You'll be amazed at where it takes you. Because compassion is a fundamental key for you to experience more joy on a daily basis.

It’s time to unleash more compassion into the world and more joy into your life. 🙂

The Power of Now: Why the Present Moment Is Your Sanctuary

We live in a world obsessed with time and space.

Our lives hurtle forward in a blur – past, present, future – oftentimes leaving us feeling disoriented and stressed.

We regret past mistakes (replaying them continuously in our minds like a lame YouTube short on constant repeat) and worry endlessly about what the future may hold (having conversations in our heads with others in anticipated situations).

But what if the key to reducing that stress, that feeling of being overwhelmed, lies in the here and now?

The Illusion of Linear Time

The concept of a linear timeline is an illusion. The past is gone, a memory. The future is yet to be written. All we truly have is the present moment; it's the only time we can actually control and experience.

If we really want to find peace, joy, and a sense of purpose, we need to train ourselves to be fully present. It's here, in the now, that we are free to consciously be.

Unlocking Presence with Insight Meditation

One powerful technique to become more present is Insight Meditation. This practice isn't about escaping your thoughts or emotions. Instead, you observe them with non-judgemental curiosity.

To practice this, simply sit quietly in a comfortable position while breathing deeply and slowly for 1-5 minutes. Longer is fine, but if meditation is new to you, start with 1 minute. (Seriously, you’ll find that even 1 minute of meditation can be very powerful.)

Examine every aspect of your current experience:

Your Body: What sensations do you notice? Smells, noises, textures, tiny pains, the way your body feels in your chair? Just notice. No judgment.

Your Feelings: Acknowledge the emotions flowing through you. Happiness, sadness, worry, excitement – let them rise, peak, and fade without judgment.

Your Thoughts: Observe what your mind focuses on. Just watch the train of thoughts without getting caught up in them. Again, just notice. No judgment.

Breathe Your Way into the Now

Don't forget the most important, fundamental tool of presence: your breath.

It's always there, anchoring you to this moment. Take slow, mindful breaths, feeling the air enter and leave your body.

The Takeaway

Living in the present doesn't mean ignoring the future or denying the past. It means choosing, consciously, where your attention lies. In that simple act, you will find a powerful tool to combat the stress and overwhelm of modern life.

So, the next time you feel yourself spiraling, remember: now is all there is. And bring your attention to the present moment. 🙂

Instant Coffee Type Results vs. The Art of Being More Patient

Do you remember those old dial-up modems that let us slowly, squeakily access the internet? (If you don’t, then you’ve led a life of ease, without much suffering).

Oh, the agony of waiting for a simple webpage to load!

Now, we have instant access to pretty much anything we want to know and do right from our phones. We stream movies, order food for delivery, and shop with a click. (I’m still amazed that I could order a new water filter for my fridge last night at 8pm and have it sitting on my front porch, ready for installation, before 7am coffee time this morning. Wow.).

We're a culture that thrives on "right now!"

The only trouble?

Life doesn't often work too well on a 'get it now' schedule.

Some of the best things – relationships, career achievements, reaching those fitness goals, and a decent cup of coffee – all take time. (Especially the coffee example here. Seriously, there should be laws against that instant coffee stuff!)

Like planting a seed, there's a waiting period between when you start and when you see those beautiful results.

So where does that leave all of us who are now so accustomed to tapping a screen for instant gratification?

It means we need a serious dose of patience!

If you're the kind of person who's constantly tapping their foot, sighing heavily, and generally feeling fidgety any time things don't materialize at lightning speed, you're not alone.

But here's the thing: when you rush the process, whatever that process is, you often end up with a less-than-stellar result.

Think of a cake that's pulled out of the oven too early. Yeah, it's edible (maybe), but it's a gooey mess, not a fluffy delight.

Or back to the coffee example. A quick option exists, but the instant result isn’t very tasty. At all.

The most beautiful, rewarding, and tasty things in life take work, dedication, and, yes, patience.

When you plant a flower garden, you can't expect a riot of blooms overnight. It takes time, tending the soil, watering, weeding, and waiting for those buds to form and burst open.

Life is basically a big garden, and we're the gardeners. We plant seeds – a new career path, a healthier lifestyle, a loving relationship.

It takes patience to see those efforts through to that beautiful harvest you're dreaming of.

The best things take time, my friend.

Waiting might be frustrating, but believe me – the good stuff is worth the wait. 🙂

Feeling Stressed About This Season of Life? It WILL Pass, and Here's How to Get Through

Hey there.

Are things kind of rough right now?

Are you staring out the window, wondering how everything's going to work out, how this weird/tough/confusing season is going to end?

Trust me, I've been there.

Let's be real – it SUCKS.

But here's the thing I need you to know: It WILL all be okay.

You gotta remember, even the most beautiful new season has to come after the old one.

Here's how I try to get through those stormy seasons, and hopefully, this helps you too:

1. Adaptability is Your Superpower

Okay, cheesy line, I know. But hear me out. Life is full of changes – the good stuff, the hard stuff, and the everything in between stuff. Those who can roll with the punches and adapt are the ones who make it through. Not saying it's easy, but when you're open to change, the good stuff gets easier to create.

2. Find the Gratitude (Seriously, It Works)

It sounds impossible when you're stressed out, but trust me. Think of the good stuff, the blessings already in your life, and just try to stay positive. It sounds crazy, but gratitude is this weird force that attracts even more good vibes! It's about focusing on what's going right, even when it's just a tiny sliver of light (hey, that rhymes!).

3. Remember: Energy Attracts Like Energy

Keep tabs on that karmic energy of yours. A sour attitude often just leads to more things going wrong. When you put good energy out into the world – kindness, even just a good thought – it has this funny way of boomeranging back around to you.

4. Okay, But What IS the Season, Anyway?

If it's pouring rain out there and there's a chill in the air...you're probably in a metaphorical autumn or winter. Wishing for summer won't help, just like wishing away your problems won't do much good right now either. Acceptance is SO hard, but sometimes you gotta take a deep breath and just say "This is where I am, and that's okay...for now."

You're worried about the shift, about how it’s all going to change.

Here's the thing: You will get through this. Just like every other season before.

You’ve got this.

And if you need some help, please reach out to me. 🙂

This Injustice Won't Stand: What Fuels Your Fight?

Hey friend, this week I've been diving into Dr. Pauli Murray's incredible personal history in her book, "Song in a Weary Throat: Memoir of an American Pilgrimage."

Although the book is required reading for one of my Doctor of Ministry classes this semester, it ought to be required reading for you, too. But since it’s over 600 pages, you might not finish it all too soon.

So I’ll just hit a few highlights for you…

Dr. Murray was a trailblazer! If you don't know about her, she was a civil rights and social justice activist, a prolific writer, and legal advocate.

She had a Doctorate in Law from Yale and a Master in Divinity degree from an Episcopalian seminary and many other high academic achievements.

She also holds many “first” honorary titles such as: “California’s first African-American deputy attorney general” and “First African-American woman ordained as an Episcopal priest.”

Dr. Murray, who passed away in 1985, was a total force of nature who fought tirelessly for justice and equality.

Now back to her memoir.

One scene that got me fired up was when Dr. Murray applied in 1938 to the University of North Carolina for their PhD program.

She was an exceptional student, with a mind sharper than a switchblade.

But imagine her indignation when the rejection letter hit her with this line: "Members of your race are not admitted to the University."

Are you kidding me?!

Dr. Murray, rightfully, felt a storm of frustration and pain. If I was in her shoes, I'd be beyond angry too. It's that feeling of "How dare you? This is NOT okay!"

But here's what's amazing: she didn't let that injustice break her.

Instead, it became a defining moment that propelled her into a lifelong fight for civil rights and social justice.

And that has me thinking…

What makes you mad?

What injustices (big or small) light a flame in your gut that demand action?

Maybe it's climate change, discrimination, healthcare inequality, or the way certain groups are treated unfairly by the system?

Maybe it’s that there aren’t any vegan and gluten free bakeries in your neighborhood?

Maybe it’s new home buyers getting taken advantage of by unscrupulous lenders?

Maybe it’s unlicensed contractors swooping into town after a hail storm to try to collect insurance money from damaged roofs and then skipping town?

Whatever it is, that fiery feeling is very personal and very powerful!

The question is, how can you harness that energy?

Dr. Murray shows us the way:

Own your anger, let it fuel you: Don't shy away from those feelings, injustice (whatever the scale of it) SHOULD make you feel uncomfortable.

Take action, big or small: Write emails, join a movement, educate yourself, find a way to use your unique skills for good – do something that pushes for change.

Don't give up: Progress often feels slow, but persistence is key. Remember, even small drops of water can carve out mighty canyons over time.

Your anger, your frustration, your burning desire for change, is a gift. It's a sign you care deeply about something and have the potential to make a difference.

So, what's making you shout for change, and how are you going to let that fire fuel your life? 🙂

When "Ugh" Feels Like Your Spirit Animal: Why Giving Up on Your Dreams is Like Kicking a Unicorn in the Knee (Seriously, Don't!)

Remember that majestic unicorn you saw prancing across the internet? The one with the shimmering coat and the horn that promised wishes and wonder?

Chasing dreams can feel a lot like that unicorn – beautiful, full of potential, and then BAM!

That lovely unicorn impales your ass with its horn. Ouch!!!

Now you’re in a lot of metaphorical pain and suddenly the idea of chasing dream-infused rainbows seems much less appealing.

Let's face it, dreams can be tough. They demand grit, hustle, and sometimes, the emotional equivalent of eating wet grass (because even unicorns don’t like wet grass).

So, when the going gets rough and the temptation to toss your dream-creating magic wand into the "Goodwill Donation Pile" is strong, you might find yourself muttering, "Maybe I'm not unicorn-material afterall."

But hold on, dream weaver, before you donate your magic wand and purchase something much less magical, consider this: giving up on your dreams is like kicking a unicorn in the knee.

(And stay with me on these points….I’m well aware that I’m stretching this whole “unicorn thing” quite far.)

So don’t give up because…

1. Unicorns are magical, and so are you. Don't let the world cut off your sparkly horn. You've got the potential to achieve amazing things, even if right now you're feeling more like a grumpy donkey than a majestic mythical beast.

2. Kicking things, even metaphorical unicorns, is generally frowned upon. Plus, imagine the poor unicorn's sparkly tears! It doesn't deserve such cruelty. And neither do you. Your dreams are inside of you for a reason, kicking them just because you are struggling a bit will only cause more pain in your soul.

3. Giving up is the opposite of magical. Seriously, the world has enough quitters, whiners, and magic haters. Be the rebel, the one who chases their dreams even when giving up might appear to be the most “logical” thing to do.

The path to your dreams is rarely a unicorn gallop. It's more like a winding forest trail up a mountain filled with rockslides, dead ends, and the occasional grumpy troll.

But the view from the top? Totally worth the scraped knees and questionable troll encounters.

So, the next time you feel like giving up, do yourself a favor:

Talk. Reach out to a friend, family member, or coach – they can all offer support and remind you why you started this crazy dream journey in the first place.

Celebrate. Did you finally write that first sentence of your book? High-five yourself! Did you get your resume ready? Do a victory dance! Did you do 15 minutes of cardio? Theme song from Rocky time! Every step, no matter how small, is a step closer to your goal.

Remember. What sparked this dream in the first place? Reconnect with that passion, that fire in your belly, and let it reignite your motivation.

Chasing your dreams might be tough, but trust me, it's a heck of a lot more rewarding than living with the regret of not trying your hardest.

So, chin up, buttercup, and keep chasing those dreams! The world needs your magic.

After all, who wants a world without unicorns? I certainly don’t. 🦄

The Expectation Tango: When Reality Steps on Your Toes

Let's face it, friend, we humans are a waltzing bunch.

We twirl through life, partners in hand (sometimes imaginary, sometimes not), and hope the steps will be elegant, smooth, and lead us exactly where we envisioned.

But then, reality stumbles in, trips over our fancy footwork, and sends us sprawling in a heap of crumpled expectations.

We all know the feeling…

You picture your dream job to be stimulating, dynamic, with opportunities galore.

Turns out, it's more like repetitive tasks, fluorescent lighting, endless spreadsheets, and a pain-in-the-ass boss.

Or maybe you envisioned your dream vacation: turquoise waters, pristine beaches, and piña coladas brought to you by an overly tanned server as you relax under palm trees.

Instead, you're fighting crowds, battling a sunburn, and dodging overpriced (and watered down) cocktails self-served from a Slushy Machine.

Cue the internal conflict: disappointment, frustration, maybe even a touch of betrayal.

Why does this happen, and how can we avoid becoming permanent residents of Disappointmentville?

The culprit here is our old nemesis: expectations.

We base our expectations on past experiences, media portrayals, or even just wishful thinking, and then get blindsided when things don't pan out exactly as we planned.

It's like judging a book by its cover, only the cover is a perfectly staged Instagram photo and the book is full of plot twists and unexpected detours.

So, how do we avoid this expectation tango gone wrong?

Here are a few tips:

Reality Check: Before waltzing into a new situation or break-dancing through a current one, take a breath and do a gut check. Are your expectations based on actual facts, fueled by fantasy, or conjured up in your head as “the right and only way to do things”? A healthy dose of reality goes a long way.

Embrace Flexibility: Remember, life rarely follows a predetermined script. Be open to the unexpected, the detours, and the occasional plot twist. It might just lead you somewhere even more amazing.

Focus on the Present: Stop comparing your life to some Pinterest-perfect ideal. Savor the small wins, appreciate the unique moments, and find joy in the journey, not just the destination.

Communicate: If someone's behavior consistently falls short of your expectations, have an honest and loving conversation. They might not even be aware of your unspoken assumptions. A heartfelt conversation also goes a long way.

Remember, expectations aren't bad in and of themselves. They can motivate us and they do give us something to strive for. But when we cling to them too tightly, they become blinders, preventing us from seeing the amazing things that unfold from life.

So, let's loosen our grip on those expectations, keep ourselves in check with reality, embrace flexibility, focus on the present, and communicate with love.

Now go turn down the volume on the disappointment soundtrack.

After all, the real joy happens when we can learn to dance to an unexpected tune. 🙂